(Inside: This is not your traditional “stop yelling” tip! In fact, this advice about yelling is probably different than anything you’ve ever heard before and worth checking out if you are about to blow your lid!)
We’ve all been told to stop yelling.
We’ve even read advice with the single best way to stop yelling, but I bet you have never, ever had anyone give you this advice about yelling.
But let me back up and tell you a little about me…
I struggle with yelling. It is not a secret that I hide from anyone. I came from a yelling family.
I lived in a yelling marriage before the one I am in now. And even though I don’t hide that I’m a yeller, the truth is I yell more than I wish I did.
Yelling is part of my life.
However, over a year ago I decided that needed to change.
* This post may contain affiliate links for your convenience. Click here for my full disclosure.
The Most Unconventional Advice About Yelling You’ve Ever Heard
I started to be a little more conscious of my decisions and reactions that led to my yelling.
I was determined to turn my home into a more peaceful environment.
Along the way, I have read some really good advice to stop yelling.
I have even taken an e-course that was invaluable in helping me stop yelling. It was all good. Don’t get me wrong. It was all great advice.
However, there has always been something missing that I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. It wasn’t until recently I realized just what was missing!
You see all of the anger management books and articles have one thing in common. They all tell you how to STOP YELLING.
I am here to tell you, that advice is not the whole truth. You see, they are all telling you that by not yelling your life will be zen and peaceful and calm.
They leave out what to do when you REALLY JUST NEED TO LET IT OUT!!!
And let it out you should!
I’m not talking about every single day or even as your first strategy. But honestly, sometimes you get angry, frustrated, or downright furious.
If you have tried all the strategies in your yelling “toolbox”, is to let it out!
The problem, is that we definitely don’t want to direct that frustration at our children, so what can we do?
I have the perfect solution and its a tad unconventional!
The other day while I was scanning my Facebook feed, I found a support group called “Yelling at Inanimate Objects” and at first I snickered.
I thought, well, that is ridiculous.
It wasn’t until I hit that boiling point later in the week, that I realized just how brilliant it really was!
I could yell at an inanimate object! So simple! So brilliant!
Why Yelling at Inanimate Objects Will Save Your Sanity
They won’t talk back! | It’s fantastic because let’s face it… when you are frustrated and you are trying everything in your power to use your breathing techniques or your calming strategies, and your child talks back to you, it just sends you through the roof! I think you can actually see steam come from my ears. Inanimate objects can’t and won’t talk back.
They are great at listening! | Sometimes you just need someone {or something in this case} to hear you out and know your feelings. Go ahead, tell that rock you don’t like its color! Go ahead and tell your wall to move! They will listen!
Their feelings don’t get hurt very easily! | When yelling at inanimate objects you don’t have to worry if they will have their feelings hurt. You don’t have to worry if they will have memories of your letting out your anger. That means less guilt for you!
They are always there for you! | I’m pretty sure no matter where you are, there are inanimate objects surrounding you! Need a yell? Need a grunt? Go ahead, find a teddy bear and let it out!
They know how to lift your spirits! | Okay, you just yelled at a ball. If that doesn’t make you laugh and smile, I am not sure what will.
So the next time you’re just feel like you are going to blow… go ahead! Sometimes it releases the very thing making us boil! Sometimes that release is all we need. And I promise, your couch won’t care!
A tiny word of advice… I wouldn’t go around doing this as your only anger management strategy, though.
You might get labeled as the “crazy” down the street that yells at flowers.
This is just one strategy to be used with other great strategies.
Finding the root of your anger, finding your triggers and building your toolbox is imperative!
We’ve all heard the same advice… If someone tells me to “take a deep breath” one more time, they might get yelled at even more than my kids…
That’s why I was SO excited when my friend Amanda decided to offer this free video series From Angry Mom to Calm Home.
This isn’t the same old advice we’ve all heard that doesn’t work, and it’s not just another parenting expert that will make you feel even more guilty for yelling…
Trust me. Amanda is the real deal. She’s a mental health therapist and an admitted reformed yeller. She totally understands what it’s like to be a mom in the trenches, and her tips are gold.
You can sign up here for the free email series.
More Adventures In Imperfect Parenting
i do this! I never really put a lot of thought into it. I’m generally a very quiet person but after having kids I found myself yelling much more than I ever thought. So I decided to slow down and think before I yell, and my first reaction was to just take a deep breath and say, “grr” but sometimes it wasn’t enough so one day I really needed to yell so I looked around and their was a box of cereal, which was actually the source of the problem, and I yelled at it, “I’m so angry, my kid doesn’t like you right now!” And my son looked at me for a second then just started laughing, “mom, why are you doing that, the cereal can’t hear!” So it turned into a silly conversation of us giggling over a box of cereal! And guess what, he completely forgot about his refusal to eat! I’ve done it ever since, so this is great advice!
I love some of Orange Rhino’s ways of letting it out too.