Inside: Let’s face it, exhausted moms struggle for any time or energy for themselves. These 7 simple tips are perfect even for the moms in complete survival mode.
Do you struggle to find time for yourself?
You hear other people say you should put yourself on the to-do list…
But how on earth do you do that?
You’re exhausted from meltdowns…
The kids have been fighting all day…
And you’ve juggled laundry…and dishes…and a hundred other things.
By the time you (finally) get your kids to bed, you’re exhausted and overwhelmed.
All you want to do is plop down on the couch and binge watch something on Netflix. Or just go to bed.
I get it.
I know what it’s like to feel like you never have a moment to do something for yourself.
A couple of years ago I was in complete survival mode.
I couldn’t even leave my house.
One day, I just had to escape!
I had to get out of the house.
I got in my car and just started driving…
I’d just gotten onto the interstate when I got a text from my husband.
“You need to come home. NOW!!!”
“He’s having another meltdown.”
“HURRY!”
I wasn’t even 15 minutes down the road.
I remember feeling resentful, frustrated and totally defeated.
Not Like Other Moms…
I remember wondering…
Why can’t I be like every other mom?
Why can’t I do what every other mom gets to do?
Why does this have to be my life?
I sat with that for a really long time…
I remember thinking it was absolutely impossible to find the time and energy to do things for myself.
Then, I realized that I had this misconception.
I had this idea that I had to leave the house.
That I had to get away from my kids and my family, in order to spend time on myself.
Once I let go of that false belief… The world opened up for me!
7 Ways Moms Can Find Time and Energy For Themselves (Even in Survival Mode)
I’m going to share with you seven ways you can find time and energy for yourself while still being there for your kids — even if you’re in survival mode.
#1 Give Yourself Permission
As the mom of an out-of-the-box kid some days can be incredibly draining!
You’re doing absolutely everything possible to take care of your kids and to teach them the skills they need. You’re doing everything you can so your kids will be happy and successful.
But the truth is, you matter too.
And you need to give yourself permission to spend some of that time, focus and energy on yourself! Because as a human you deserve it.
You deserve the time to care for yourself — without guilt.
So, put yourself on the to-do list and let go of the guilt.
#2 Avoid Reactive Tasks
Reactive tasks are the things we do that can rob us of precious time.
Like mindlessly scrolling Facebook…
45 minutes go by and you’re deep in a rabbit hole, on some random thread debating with strangers about something that has no bearing on your life!
Or maybe you wake up, and before you even roll out of bed you’ve spent an hour checking your email, news feed, and text messages.
If you do these things before taking care of yourself, you’re letting the world dictate where you’re placing your time, thoughts and energy.
How does that serve your family?
Now, I’m not saying never go on Facebook.
I’m not saying don’t check your messages or catch up on the news.
But I am saying…
Make it a choice.
Choose to spend the time on yourself first!
#3 Connect
We’re not going to be suddenly gifted with extra time and energy from the sky, so it’s important to constantly be looking for ways to energize yourself.
One of the quickest ways to do that is to connect with people who share your struggles and are in, or have been in a similar space.
Find your people.
The ones who believe in you even more than you believe in yourself!
They will uplift you and give you energy. Just as you can uplift and energize them!
This is especially important if you’re in survival mode.
In survival mode, the tendency is to hide yourself away from the world.
When you’re feeling down you can borrow their wins.
Feed yourself with their energy.
And recharge yourself with their outlook on life!
In a world of social distancing, creating those connections is especially important.
Think of them as your lifeline – a kind of IV drip that keeps you going!
#4 Focus on Your Why
It’s super important for you to be clear on WHY you’re doing whatever it is you’re doing.
You need to determine what things are negotiable — like where you go on vacation — and what things are non-negotiable — like spending time with your kids!
When you know what you want for yourself and your family it becomes easy for you to say either “YES” or “NO” whenever something comes up.
Now, if you’re thinking…
“I don’t know my why.”
Don’t worry, I’ll dive into that later!
In the first four tips we focused on some mindset things — but they are are super important!
- Give Yourself Permission
- Avoid Reactive Tasks
- Find Your People and Connect
- Focus on Your Why
You may have all the tools and strategies in the world, but if the space between your ears isn’t clear, if you are overwhelmed, you’re still going to struggle.
#5 Pick Three
After your mind is clear and you’ve given yourself permission to spend time on yourself you’re probably thinking:
How do I even start?
There’s a myth and misconception out there that everything has to be balanced and perfect.
That you have to have all your ‘ducks in a row’ before you even start.
No, No, No…it’s not true!
You just need to prioritize.
Just pick three things that’ll move the needle for your family.
Three things that’ll give you more time and energy for yourself.
And by putting yourself first, you’ll have more time and energy to spend with your kids.
Okay, so you’ve chosen your top three things…
Now what?
#6 Chunk it Down
We have this tendency to want to do it all!
And if we can’t do it all, we do nothing.
This all or nothing mentality is what keeps you stuck.
It keeps you from fulfilling your dreams and prevents you from finding your passion.
But if you’re facing a big goal — like eating healthier, for example — it’s much easier to do if you break it down into smaller chunks.
Instead of overhauling your entire diet… Just say:
“Today I won’t eat any chips.”
Make one small change and build on it each day.
Easy, right?
#7 Book it
You’ve picked your three things, you’ve broken them down into manageable chunks…
and now it’s time to book time for them!
I want you to really look at your schedule and find the holes.
When your child’s napping…
When it’s screen time…
Or when the kids are busy outside, running through the sprinklers.
Maybe you can find a little time before they wake up…
Or after they go to bed.
It can be 5 minutes…10…maybe 20.
It’s not important where you find the time or how much time you have…
It’s just important that you find it and schedule it.
Don’t wait until everything is perfect!
Don’t wait until your house is in order, your kids aren’t having meltdowns — before you schedule time for yourself.
You don’t have to leave the house, but you do have to put it in your schedule and on your calendar and stick to it!
Because you matter and you deserve this!
Still not sure how to find the time?
I get it.
When you’re stuck in survival mode it isn’t easy to think about doing something for yourself.
It isn’t easy to think about starting a business, pursuing a hobby, or going back to school.
And maybe you’re thinking…
“I don’t know how to find my why.”
“I don’t know how to find that thing that drives me.”
“I don’t know how to put myself on the to-do list?”
Maybe you just don’t know who you are, other than an AWESOME mom!
But that’s ok.
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