(Inside: There are 3 powerful changes I am making to stop yelling today… After my daughter imitated my yell, I knew I had to make an immediate change. With these 3 key changes, our family will stop yelling and start connecting!)
It’s no secret around here that I have a problem with yelling.
Some days it feels like I will never be able to stop yelling and have the peacefulness in my house that I keep reading about!
I’ve decided its time to pick up again and start telling my story. I want to make a change and stop yelling!
If you have been following along on our challenge for a more peaceful home, you might have noticed there haven’t been a lot of updates.
However, there have been LOTS of suggestions on ways to handle an explosive or angry child.
You see, our home isn’t peaceful. Our home isn’t’ calm. Well, at least not naturally.
We have to work REALLY hard at it.
In fact, we kinda stopped working really hard for the last month and let life just take control.
It was not pretty.
At first, it was just a tiny argument. Then it was a squinched face and a deep voice… “I’m getting UPSET…” But it escalated quickly.
There have been tons of changes in the boys lives over the last two months (that are better left for another post) and Legoman’s outbursts and explosions have come to an all-time high.
We’ve all been on edge.
Do you know that the other day, I actually witnessed my 13-month-old baby imitate my YELL!
Just as I finished barking at the boys for something, of course, I can’t remember what, I looked over to see her rare back and let out the most blood-curdling scream.
She did it perfectly. My intonation, my volume, and even my hand signals. It was awful.
I knew then, what I had known for some time… We needed to get back on track.
We needed to think about being peaceful. No, we needed a do over!
Back-step, take a pause and look at what worked before and why we fell off “the wagon”.
We all agreed our house was no longer fun. It was no longer happy. It had lost its peace and everyone agreed.
Now what? How Are We Going to Stop Yelling?
Well, We looked at what we used to do that we let fall away. What worked before?
Unanimously, everyone agreed that our family meetings are super successful and make everyone feel better about what is happening. Not only do we make a point to chat every night, it gives us a chance to be intentional with out plans to have a more peaceful home.
#2 Mommy Son Dates
I spend almost every waking moment with the kids. I give them my all. Unfortunately… that “all” is split between handling Legoman’s sensory needs, caring for a Super B’s toddler wants, and fitting in Bones’ desires to cuddle. Mommy One-on-Ones, as the boys call them, give them a chance to be with JUST ME. No Siblings. NO SPLITTING!
#3 Strategic Planning
We all agreed that we do best with lists and schedules and picture charts. Guess what we are doing this week? Yep, we are making a lists of our triggers, a choice board for actions when we are frustrated, and reinstating our heart chalkboard. As silly as it sounds, these visual and verbal reminders helped us all stay focused on keeping a more peaceful home.
We’ve all heard the same advice… If someone tells me to “take a deep breath” one more time, they might get yelled at even more than my kids…
That’s why I was SO excited when my friend Amanda decided to offer this free video series From Angry Mom to Calm Home.
This isn’t the same old advice we’ve all heard that doesn’t work, and it’s not just another parenting expert that will make you feel even more guilty for yelling…
Trust me. Amanda is the real deal. She’s a mental health therapist and an admitted reformed yeller. She totally understands what it’s like to be a mom in the trenches, and her tips are gold.