4 Primary Parenting Styles: Which One Are You Using?

Inside: Introducing the four primary parenting styles that align with our Calm the Chaos Framework. By identifying and understanding our primary parenting style, we gain insight into leveraging our strengths and discovering areas for growth, empowering us to make intentional choices aligned with our values and our children’s needs.


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Literally, thousands of parents come to Calm the Chaos and express their exhaustion after getting caught up in conflicting parenting advice… 

They’re often left feeling paralyzed and hopeless… like they can’t do anything right.

I wanted to find a way to shift the focus from parenting struggles and what hasn’t worked – to celebrating progress and building from what IS working for you and your family.

So, I started by identifying 4 primary parenting styles that align with our Calm the Chaos Framework.

And then I took it one step further. 

I established the primary parenting style quiz. 

By discovering your primary parenting style, you’ll gain incredible insight into your strengths and discover opportunities for growth.

And in this post, I’m going to show you how to use the information from the quiz to leverage your strengths and overcome challenges that come your way, all while fostering a more loving, supportive, and empowering environment for your children.

And the truth is, every parent’s unique approach is made up of bits and pieces of all four styles… so learning about each one can help you make choices that are more aligned with how you want to parent. 

The best part? The quiz is built to grow with you, so the results you get today are likely different from what you’ll get six months from now.  

It’s time for a more empowering parenting experience.

The Weight of Expectations

It’s not uncommon for parents to be bombarded with conflicting advice from professionals, experts, and well-meaning friends and family.

The pressure to adhere to a seemingly endless list of do’s and don’ts can leave parents feeling overwhelmed and uncertain about their choices.

This overload of information often leads to difficulty making decisions with confidence. 

We’re constantly second-guessing and comparing… The weight of guilt and shame can crush the spirit, lead to resentment and anger, and those ugly feelings can really build up over time. 

“Let go of the shoulda, coulda, woulda of all the things you should be doing in parenting and focus on what you’re already doing amazing because we believe that every single parent is doing their best.” – Dayna Abraham

Finding the Gold in What You’re Already Doing

Instead of fixating on what we’re doing wrong, it’s essential to shift our focus to what we’re already doing right and celebrating our strengths. 

By acknowledging and celebrating what’s working, we can lay a foundation for growth and create a more empowering parenting experience. 

Whether you’re a first-time parent, or a seasoned pro, fostering an attitude of continuous improvement allows us to embrace new possibilities.

A Shift in Perspective

By reframing our approach to parenting, we cultivate an environment of growth and opportunity. Rather than viewing challenges as problems, let’s start seeing them as opportunities for finding solutions.

This change in perspective moves us away from a mindset of “us versus them” and moves towards “us versus the problem,”… which fosters collaboration, empathy, and understanding within our families. 

We can use this shift to feel more like a unified team, ready together to conquer any obstacle and come out ahead – together. 

The Four Primary Parenting Styles

To guide parents on this transformative journey, we introduce four primary parenting styles: Grounded, Affirming, In-Tune, and Empowered. 

Each style aligns with our Calm the Chaos Framework, emphasizing the importance of connection, understanding, and empowerment. 

By identifying our primary parenting style, we gain insight into our strengths and areas for growth, allowing us to make intentional choices that align with our values and our children’s needs.

Now let’s take a deeper look at the 4 primary parenting styles…

Grounded

The Grounded parent fosters a positive and nurturing environment that balances structure and flexibility. 

They provide a sense of stability and consistency while allowing room for exploration and growth. 

This parenting style emphasizes setting boundaries and expectations while nurturing emotional well-being.

Affirming

Affirming parents see and accept their children for who they are, celebrating their uniqueness and individuality. 

They prioritize building strong emotional connections and validating their children’s feelings and experiences. 

This style encourages self-esteem, self-acceptance, and authenticity.

In-Tune

The In-Tune parent deeply understands their child’s needs and creates an environment that supports their growth and development. 

They actively listen, empathize, and adapt to their child’s changing needs. 

This parenting style fosters open communication, trust, and a strong parent-child bond.

Empowered

Empowered parents encourage their children to become self-advocates and decision-makers. 

They provide opportunities for their children to contribute and take ownership within the family dynamics. 

This style fosters independence, responsibility, and a sense of empowerment.

(Check out the full episode on YouTube where Jason and I chat in depth about all 4 styles)

parenting styles, Calm the Chaos, Dayna Abraham

Embracing Growth and Moving Forward

Keep in mind that everyone has qualities from each parenting style. But more often than not, one style is dominant. 

The goal is not to be perfect or adhere to a rigid set of rules – we’re all about being out of the box! But rather to recognize that we are already doing many amazing things as parents and start to discover areas for growth that we might miss without a little help.

For example:

As a grounded parent, it’s a strength and instinct of yours to be your kids’ safe place…

But you might have to work a little harder to redirect your attention and focus on the root of the problem. 🤔

Does this sound familiar?

If you find yourself constantly throwing yourself into trying to put out the fire but never really identifying where the fire is coming from… 

You’re going to continue to feel stuck and exhausted…

Dealing with the same challenges on repeat…

You’re going to keep trying to hold it all together…  

and putting all of your energy into maintaining that calm presence during the storm…

… Until you get to the root of the problem. 

You’re missing the key: Understanding. 

As a grounded parent, your strength is to be the safe place. Your opportunity for growth is to teach yourself to also dive deep and solve the source of the problem. 

From this foundation, you can choose one small step at a time to grow and make positive changes that align with your parenting goals and values. 

You can learn what’s working for you and identify areas of untapped parenting potential. 

FREE QUIZ: What’s Your Primary Parenting Style?

Discovering your primary parenting style is an essential step in understanding your approach to how you want to show up for your kids. 

If you’d like to gain some super valuable insight into 

  • why you parent the way you do
  • how to leverage your strengths
  • and discover areas for growth… 

Take the free quiz and discover a more empowering parenting experience.

And don’t forget to check out the full episode on YouTube, join us next week too, and let’s keep this parenting adventure going! 

And one more thing you should never forget…

You’ve got this!

Dayna

– – –

Calm the Chaos Parenting is a podcast offering parents practical tools and strategies to navigate the challenges of raising strong-willed, highly sensitive, and neurodivergent children.

🎧 Follow us on your favorite platform so you never miss an episode!

 

– Take this FREE quiz to discover which of 4 different parenting styles you have

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– Check out my website 

– Pre-order your copy of Calm The Chaos Book 

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