Inside: After digging through countless sources and going through many trials and errors, I finally developed the Calm the Chaos System – a reliable solution that works every time for families with challenging kids. It has been tested and proven effective by over 100,000 families. That’s why I decided to launch this podcast – to reach out to parents who feel lonely, hopeless, and solely responsible for their kid’s challenging behavior. In our first episode, I’ll be sharing the story of how I came to create the Calm the Chaos System.
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This is precisely what the school principal told me when my son was in second grade:
“Take your son, and don’t bring him back until you figure out what’s wrong with him.”
I was crushed.
But I realized later that I needed that moment – because that was when I realized that something had to change.
So I decided to quit my job as a teacher and start homeschooling my son.
… Don’t worry, this isn’t the part where I tell you I immediately and magically fixed everything. Quite the opposite, actually.
In the beginning, my husband and I were dealing with frequent massive meltdowns, which resulted in lots of tears, broken dishes, toys, and even holes in the wall. We were all constantly maxed out, exhausted, angry, and increasingly resentful.
I completely lost myself trying to contain the chaos. My own needs weren’t just at the bottom of the priority list – they weren’t even ON the list. I was going days – weeks, sometimes without showering. I couldn’t be away from my son for more than a couple of minutes without all hell breaking loose.
I felt utterly helpless. Like I was the worst parent in the world. An award-winning, national board-certified Chicago teacher became a mother of one of “those kids.”
I was overwhelmed with shame and guilt – and felt completely alone.
Desperate, we tried everything:
– positive parenting…
– strict parenting…
– therapies…
Even methods I am embarrassed to admit!
And still – nothing seemed to work.
Until I went all-in on a radically “out of the box” approach and finally discovered a way to calm the chaos.
It wasn’t an easy journey, and I definitely didn’t have a magic formula.
I consulted countless sources… I applied, tested, and failed many times (sometimes epically) until I finally figured out what actually worked. And through analyzing our insights and identifying patterns, I created the Calm the Chaos System that works every single time.
How do I know? Because I rely on these principles every single day.
Also, because it’s been tested and proven by 100k+ families with challenging children.
… and I’m on a mission to find more people to help!
So, I decided to launch a podcast to bring these ideas closer to parents who feel lonely, hopeless, and responsible for their child’s challenging behavior.
If there’s one thing I’m hoping you take away from the first episode, it’s this…
You are not failing, your child is not broken, and you are precisely the parent your child needs you to be.
You just need to learn how to calm the chaos.
Here’s what I mean…
There Is No Magic When It Comes to Challenging Kids
I wish I could say that we found a quick fix, and our son magically transformed into a completely different person overnight. But if it were that simple, we wouldn’t have started this podcast, would we?
It was a journey, a long and difficult one, during which my husband and I made a lot of mistakes, as did the professionals who tried to help us. But now, after ten years, I can promise you there is hope.
My family has grown so much closer – we actually enjoy spending time together now!
We’ve learned how to communicate and work together in ways that honor our abilities, needs, and preferences.
Our kids get along, respect and appreciate us and each other. They’re confident, empowered, and learning to advocate for themselves.
I’m able to enjoy the little things, like lunch with a friend or a whole weeklong retreat with my CTC team!
I prioritize my own self-care, and I’m focused and productive in my work and personal life. I can sit here and type this blog post, listen to the birds and drink my (hot!) coffee – without the constant threat of chaos!
But what happened in between? We’ll fill in the gaps during this podcast.
That’s actually its purpose… to guide you through our journey and share the things we learned.
We’ll also bring in the experts we continue to learn from – because if we stop learning, we stop growing, and we don’t want that!
All of this was the result of growth, determination, and figuring things out – a willingness to fail, and try again.
Before, when I felt helpless and hopeless, I turned to Google for help, but there wasn’t nearly as much information available as there is now. And what was out there was not exactly reliable or realistic.
All I could find were flawless families with perfectly behaved kids in their pristine homeschool rooms who followed chore charts and never imagined coloring outside the lines.
And everything they did just worked magically and beautifully.
It made me wonder, “What’s wrong with me? What am I doing??”
I felt even more isolated.
That’s why I started Lemon Lime Adventures… I was hoping to find just one other person who was struggling like we were.
And it turns out… I found a lot of them… millions!
They became my support system, and I was part of theirs. And slowly, I started to find the path that would become the Calm the Chaos System.
What is Calm the Chaos System Really About?
I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of parents, teachers, therapists, and pediatricians using the Calm the Chaos framework.
I have no doubt that I can help you, too!
Calm the Chaos can be used in all situations related to big emotions, power struggles, and challenging behaviors – including ADHD, autism, and other diagnoses – and the never-ending chaos they tend to produce. However, the key is that this is not a one-size-fits-all solution.
Instead, it’s a flexible system that can (must) be adapted to fit your unique family and address the individual challenges your child is facing. And when you do that… it works – every single time.
What sets it apart from other parenting programs is the simple, customizable framework that shows you how to teach your child to communicate, solve problems, and get their needs met so challenging behaviors disappear on their own.
The idea is that you shift your focus away from the challenging behaviors (yelling, refusals, etc.) and towards the root of the problem (unmet needs, sensory issues, etc.). If you get to the source, you will eliminate the challenging behaviors. You’re not looking for a band-aid or a parenting hack, you’re looking for a fundamental change in the way your family functions.
The system empowers both parents and children to work together towards a solution rather than using a top-down approach. This ensures that children feel their voice is heard, creates buy-in, and helps them build confidence, self-awareness, and problem-solving skills.
One of the key benefits of our framework is that it grows with your family and can be used to handle new problems as your child gets older.
Finally, we don’t just provide a theory and expect you to know how to use it. Our framework is built around simple, actionable steps based on real-world application. Unlike other systems, we not only teach you what to do but also how to do it, relying on tried-and-true strategies.
You Are NOT Alone
Although you may feel lonely and overwhelmed right now, trust that there are countless parents struggling to balance work, family, and everything in between while raising a challenging child. The good news is that nowadays, you can find a support network of other parents who have neurodivergent and out-of-the-box kids just like you.
The challenges are universal – struggling to eat dinner as a family, siblings constantly fighting, knowing meltdowns are inevitable and explosive, calls from the school, putting self-care on the furthest back burner, etc.
Thankfully, we’re finally done with the Pinterest perfect age, and in 2023 we have experts who are building the foundation of the modern era of parenting, child psychology, and developmental psychology.
Because everybody who doesn’t have a child thinks they’re going to be the best parents ever. And when the time comes, they quickly realize that perfection is a myth.
I was no exception. And the Universe played a really, really big joke on me.
Let’s go back to the day when I got that last call from my son’s school.
I was nine months pregnant with our daughter. When I came to pick him up because he had yet another meltdown “out of nowhere,” which they “couldn’t control,” he was surrounded by every single adult in the building. Plus, they had called the police.
In the midst of piercing stares, my son hunkered under a table in a glassed-in room, screaming at anyone who approached. The authorities had literally turned him into a caged lion for the whole school to observe.
I don’t blame them – they were certainly doing their best. But they didn’t know any better.
So, I decided to be the person who knows better.
And you can be that person, too.
It is an absolute honor to be able to share my experience and insights with you and to be your guide and sounding board on this journey.
Often, my advice for anyone just starting out is to just figure out the next step. One small thing you can do today that will keep you moving in the right direction.
Today, your next step is to tune into the very first episode of the Calm the Chaos Parenting podcast!
… and enter our epic FREE giveaway, ‘cause who doesn’t like free stuff??
See you inside! And remember, we’re better together.
Dayna
– – –
Calm the Chaos Parenting is a podcast offering parents practical tools and strategies to navigate the challenges of raising strong-willed, highly sensitive, and neurodivergent children.
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