Today was one of THOSE DAYS. I am sure you don’t know the ones because you have this whole parenting thing down pat! You know exactly what you are doing. Me on the other hand… I have no right telling you how to be a better parent! I can barely get by myself.
This isn’t a post of self pity. This isn’t a post of “Woe is me”. Instead it’s a post of brutal honesty. You see, I get the fact that I frequently share tidbits, tips and uplifting advice. I share fun activities we have done, and on the outside it looks so, how would you put it… “pinteresty”.
My friends, I am here to tell you how that is, so, not the case!
Today was not a pretty day. It started off good enough. I even felt like we might actually get more than 1 thing done for homeschool. I mean, we had a big heart-to-heart family meeting last night about how we needed to work together, how the boys were going to start listening more when I asked them to do something, and how I was going to be more present for them.
After they went to bed, I caught up on my reading. I read a post about “mistakes I was making as a parent”, a post about “essential things I MUST do to be a better parent, and then to top it all off I pinned a ton of “engaging and thought provoking” activities on Pinterest.
I was ready for today!
Then it happened. Ladies and gentlemen, I am here to tell you… it was UGLY! I lost my cool. There was stomping (by me, not the kids), there was angry cleaning, and there was yelling. Oh man, it was ugly. It didn’t stop there either.
We had an appointment to get to and I had a business phone call I had to take on the way there. I made sure the kids were well stocked with books, snacks and things to occupy them as we trekked across town during rush hour traffic. Of course, none of that mattered, because they chose THAT PHONE CALL to be the moment they needed to try to wrestle in the back seat, have a tickle fest, and pretty much ignore any disgusting glances I sent their way through the rear-view mirror.
I had to politely excuse myself, not once but twice, from the conversation to give the “I am on a very important call, and I know you understand this” speech. They did not understand.
I am pretty sure this is when I started to actually fume out the side of my ears like in the old cartoons when we were growing up. Yeah. Like I said… not pretty. Ugly.
The night continued like this until bedtime. I’m not super proud of my “I’m very disappointed in you so I am not giving hugs and kisses” speech. Yeah., I know what you are thinking…
I withheld kisses and hugs. What is wrong with me?
So that brings us back to why I have decided that I am NOT going to tell you how to be a better parent.
Why I am NOT a Better Parent Than You…
I Have No Clue What I am Doing
Okay, okay… so I do know what I am doing. I have read the books. I went to school for child development. I taught for 12 years. I should have this thing figured out. The truth is… I don’t. And you know what? That is okay!
You see, with each bad day there will be a good day. Well, there might be quite a few bad days before the good days come, but they will come. There will be days where I feel like the best parent in the world and look at others and think… well, If they only… Then there will be days like today, where I am reminded that we are all figuring this out as we go along.
I truly believe… We are all doing the best job that we know how right now, and that is okay!
You Don’t Need Someone Else Telling You How You’re Making Mistakes
We have enough self doubt and personal defeat in parenting. This isn’t something we need help with. I know we all have room for growth and improvement. I know we all have a place to learn more. I am not telling you that it is wise to turn off all outside “help”.
However, you don’t need me to make you feel like you aren’t a “better parent”. You are reading this because you probably already feel that stress of “Am I enough?”, “Am I doing this right?”, “Am I royally screwing up my kid?”
To those questions… I say… You Rock! Keep on rockin’. Will you make mistakes? Yep. Look at my day. Whew… not pretty! But tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow I get another chance. Tomorrow I will look back on today and wave goodbye. Because in the end, that is the best I can do.
You Already Are a Better Parent
Well, at least that is what I tell myself. The kids are in bed, I am reflecting on my day. I learned a lot today. They learned I was human. They learned I have emotions. They learned I am still learning. Today was real.
Tomorrow, I have a plan. Will it work? Who knows. But at least I will try.
And You? You are the best parent you can be, right now! You are not making mistakes. You are not failing! You are parenting! Through the pretty days and the ugly days! Give yourself a hug (and maybe a little glass of wine), pick yourself up and remember how much you love your children!
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Photo Credit: Dollar Photo Club | Valua Vitaly
Side note: The images used in this post were found using the search term “perfect family”. Does your family look like this? I’d like to see what your “perfect” family looks like ! Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, Pinterest, Instagram or subscribe by email. I can’t wait to see or hear your ideas!
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12 thoughts on “Why I am NOT a Better Parent Than You”
I really enjoyed reading your post, Dayna. I know how you feel exactly. Your honesty helps us relate and feel that we are not alone. Thank you 🙂
Thank you for letting others know we aren’t alone too! Thank you for your sweet comments.
I love this Dayna. You had me at angry parenting. Thank you for keeping it real.
Thank you so much! My husband came home today and told me the house looked great but that he was sorry I was “angry cleaning”. 🙂
We all just try the best we can each day… No one is immune to those “I am an awful parent” days where you just don’t feel like you are cut out for this job.
Wonderful post — and those images! Nope, my family doesn’t look like that, but it’s perfect just the way it is.
Great post and I appreciate your honesty! I wrote something similar a few months ago, so I am all about NOT telling people how to be a better parent! http://www.meplus3today.com/2014/06/why-i-wont-give-parenting-advice.html
Pinning and sharing for all the parents out there!
Your post is wonderful as well! Thank you so much for your kind words and for sharing!
Dayna, thanks for your openness and honesty and reminding us all that we are only human and there is no such things as the perfect parent. I think sometimes we get so bogged down with the things we should be doing and forget what being a parent is all about. What really matters. Thank you for reminding me. Lisa
Ah I can so relate… especially with the angry cleaning!!
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