Signs Its Not Just Mommy Blues

I am going to be completely honest with you and share something a tad raw and extremely personal. If you are a regular here, you know about my problem with yelling and our family’s goal to have a more peaceful family. What you might not know is how things have actually been going. Some of my actions and emotions have led me to ask myself recently “Am I depressed or is it just a bad case of mommy blues?” Whatever the case is, I wanted to share it here with you today, because I need something to change.

is it depression or mommy blues

 Is This Depression or Mom Funk?

I know, I know. That is a scary word and one that gets tip-toed around. That is the reason I am writing this post. I want to be real. I need to be real. So let me explain…

As many of you know, this has been a roller coaster year for our family… we had a new baby, our oldest son was finally diagnosed with SPD and Anxiety, we were forced to homeschool our children, and I have been dealing with court battles with Mr. X. Its been a ride to say the least.

To say that some days I feel overwhelmed is an understatement.

Up until now, I have passed off my mood changes as a side effect of all of the items mentioned above. I have made excuses for my mood swings, my yelling, and my frustrations. About the time I started feeling the mommy blues, my dear friend, Amanda at Dirt and Boogers declared that she was in a Mom Funk, too, and she was going to do something about it.

I read the post, joined her no yelling challenge, nodded in agreement and kept waiting for my mood to change. I have to say, starting the Peaceful Home challenge with my family has been groundbreaking. We do have a much more peaceful home. There are less meltdowns, there is less yelling (from everyone), and we are having much more fun together.

So why do I still feel this way?

Am-I-Depressed

3 Signs I Might Be Depressed

This morning I hit a breaking point. The kids were in good moods, learning was happening, I had my morning coffee.  Life was good.  However, for some reason… I was not okay. Every little thing was upsetting me. I was even getting frustrated at the baby as she explored and put EVERYTHING in her mouth.

I lost it. I yelled. Again.

The truth is, the last three days have been this way for me. Everything annoys me. Sounds crawl up my skin. I am not happy. In fact, I am hearing people ask more and more “Are you okay?”

No. No, I am not okay.

1. I can’t make decisions.

At first, I told myself and Papa Bear that the lack of decision making was due to all the decisions I make on a daily basis. Planning homeschool, collaborating and running projects for the blog, meal planning, scheduling things… it was all my brain could handle. While I do think there is some truth to this, I also know it is not okay to never have an answer.

I noticed it in the last two weeks getting bad. Just the other night after being unable to make a decision about dinner, again, Papa Bear asked what I had for lunch. I hadn’t eaten lunch because nothing sounded good. Now, don’t worry too much, I am eating, but I am not being healthy.

This is a problem.

2.I am easily irritated.

I mentioned before how easily I am getting irritated. In the past, I have been blaming it on my son’s sensory needs, or Super B not sleeping through the night, or dealings with Mr. X. The truth is, its me.

Yesterday, I even called Papa Bear in the afternoon and declared that I was walking out of the house when he got home. When he got home he suggested that I go pick up the dinner and get a drink while I was there. He doesn’t drink, so for him to suggest this, you know something isn’t right.

Just the normal every day chores seem to overwhelm me. I can’t seem to think of how to get it all done without getting upset by them. Not to mention if something doesn’t go as planned. Right now, I am completely unable to handle anything not going smoothly, which you know isn’t realistic and isn’t a healthy place to be.

3. I have trouble laughing, smiling, and being present.

Last night it hit me! I needed to find a picture of myself for a project. I spent 3 hours looking through folders and albums and could not find a single suitable picture. In each and every picture, I was happy. Truly happy. It was in that moment that I realized exactly how unhappy I have been.

It wasn’t until I compared my now to my then, that I could feel the heaviness in my face. I have felt it in my eyes for some time, but I have ignored it. I’m not saying I haven’t laughed, or haven’t smiled. My family is wonderful and they brighten every day of my life. But its deeper than that. Its what I feel when the moment passes.

I want to be Happy Again

I want to be this happy again. I want to look in the mirror each day and see someone that has a smile on her face. I want my children to see this mom when they look at me. I want to be the wife I set out to be.

I want to be happy and healthy.

I Am Depressed

Its a scary thing to admit. Those three little words are so strong, so scary, and so taboo. I have noticed lately that no one is scared to admit that they are in a funk, have the mommy blues, or are just plain angry. However, saying that you are depressed has a connotation that something is wrong with you. It makes you feel like its your fault and you shouldn’t have let yourself get that way.

Did you know, that everyone will go through depression at least once in their life? It can be caused by hormone changes, life events, changes in diet, and a myriad of other reasons. Depression is defined as being a mood disorder that effects the way you think, feel and behave causing you to have difficulty completing daily functions.

I wanted to say I was having a case of the mommy blues. I wanted to think I was going to snap out of it. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. Instead of getting better, it was getting worse each day. And that, by definition, is depression.

So, Now What?

Admitting that I am depressed is the first step. I needed to realize this wasn’t just a case of the funks. It isn’t something I am just going to snap out of. Its something I need help with.

That is why I am telling you.

It is why I am putting it out into the blogisphere. My hope is that maybe you needed to hear this too; maybe, you have been there; or maybe, just maybe you know how to help.

I plan to keep you updated on my progress, the steps I am taking to get healthy and be here to support you in your mom funk or depression any way I can.

Together we can be happy!

In fact, since the first time I wrote this, I have been trying a few strategies to be a happier mom, and essential oils is just one of them. I have found that diffusing Joy in the mornings, helps pick me up and get moving. (It is no cure for depression, but it sure can lift my mood).

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Signs It is more than just Mommy Blues

Have you ever felt the mom funk or worried you might be depressed? What have you done to pull yourself out of it? You can follow me on FacebookTwitterGoogle+PinterestInstagram or subscribe by email. I can’t wait to connect with you.

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Please note: If you are still struggling with the difference between depression and the mommy blues. It is serious and something that we should not take lightly. If you feel like your funk or slump is more than just the blues, I strongly urge you to take it seriously and find the support you need. Feel free to write to me, leave a comment, or message me on Facebook. If you feel your need is immediate, I urge you to call the Crisis Help Line 800-233-4357. No problem is too small.


66 thoughts on “Signs Its Not Just Mommy Blues”

  1. This has been a very bad week for me in terms of mommy blues/depression. I was only really happy once this week, I am hoping when Boo comes back from his dad’s it will get better again but it never goes away completely. I started a Twitter account simply for posting a positive thought about being a Mom that day which has helped me refocus on the positives and stay bogged down in my overwhelmed stress. When things get really bad i can go back and read the timeline and remember, oh yeah this is why I do this!

  2. Sending you lots of love Dayna. I have been though a very similar time in my life too. It’s really difficult and a hard thing to pull out of. Thank you so much for your honesty. I know that this was not easy to write. I also know that you are not the only one and that reading your words will bring peace to someone who may feel very alone in their feelings.

    1. Oh Amanda, Thank you so much for your support and love. I love how you are supportive through this and how you realize how hard this was to write. It has been amazing to see how much my words are touching others.

  3. Pamela

    I’m sitting here amazed, because this post completely describes what I go through when my Depression “flares up.” That’s how I think of it–a flare up–because, finally, I’m pretty ok most of the time. And then I’m not, and it starts just as you describe.

  4. Huge hugs, brave lady. I am so sorry you have to deal with this. When I’m in a mom funk, I write down what I’ve gotten done, because it 1) shows me that I am accomplishing something, even if it feels like I’m not and 2) motivates me to do more. But that’s a funk, not depression. I’m a huge fan of talking to doctors and getting counseling if depression is the issue – I have seen that combination transform and save lives. I hope you can get the support you need. {{{hugs}}}

  5. I could have written this myself, with one change. Instead of getting easily angered and yell, I get easily upset and cry. And then I cry some more. And then I cry because I can’t stop crying. I feel so stupid about the whole thing, because I don’t have a REASON to feel this way. I love my son. I love my husband. But the simple stuff puts me in a panic. Getting those dishes done feels like a monumental task. Some days I feel crippled by unfounded anxiety and that makes me sad. It’s a terrible cycle. I don’t have any advice, I just wanted to send ehugs and thank you for writing this.

  6. I have been struggling with depression for the first time in my life. I know that I have had a lot of stressors in the past couple of years (breast cancer, losing my best friend, moving twice) but I know that what has triggered this depression is my brother’s death. I am not sure what to do about it either. I know that no one really wants to hear about it.

    1. Amy

      I lost my husband unexpectedly 2 years ago when he was 41 years old. Big hugs to you. I know how unexplainably difficult grief can be. I am involved in a group at my church called Griefshare. They have groups like this all over the country. I’d encourage you to look around and see what you can find. Talking with others who have walked in your shoes can be really helpful.

  7. Thanks for sharing your story. I really like how you identified depression vs. being in a funk. Sometimes the very fact that you are depressed can mask the fact that things can, and WILL, get better. I know … I’ve been there plenty of times. Best of luck … do whatever you need to take care of yourself!

    1. Thank you so much! I have found a fantastic support group and the response to this post has been overwhelming. I know that things will get better, I just have to make sure I work at it.

  8. You are so brave to share your story! I’ve been battling with depression since the birth of my first 7 years ago. And while I’m not saying medication is the answer for everyone, I have been lucky to find the right medication to help tremendously in the last couple years. It’s terrible, though; my first sign of escalating depression is usually the amount that I yell at my kids and partner. At that point I usually discover that I missed one or two of my doses. But while the medication helps tremendously, I feel guilty that I don’t have (or make!) time to try more holistic methods like therapy. Ugh. Depression sucks. But good for you for recognizing, admitting, and taking steps to improve!

    1. Thank you so much for being so open and honest here and sharing your story for others. Hugs back. It isn’t a fun feeling and I am so happy that you have found what works when you are getting down. I am still figuring this out but knowing that support is there is so helpful!

  9. Many of us have been there. There is a difference between having a few bad days and needing some professional help. I went through a depression several years before I had kids {part of the issue there :)} and thankfully had some really smart doctors who found a solution which included medications, daily exercise and charting what was going on. The whole thing has made me so much more aware of how good I feel now and conscious of celebrating it. Find someone who can help you. Your kids deserve a happy mom. Sending hugs…

  10. Kate

    I just discovered your blog through Pinterest. This post hit so close to home that i am sitting here crying. I am in the same place you are at this moment. And I have no idea where to turn or what to do to fix it. Thank you so much for being brave enough to share your story. I hope you find something that helps you get back to being the you you want to be.

  11. You are brave for writing how you feel. Dealing with three kids day in and day out is not at all easy, especially since you didn’t start as a SAHM. I hope you will find your way out of this funk.

    1. Thank you so much. I am sure I will find my way. I am so happy that I realized it is something more than just winter blues or a slump. I have seen a natural medicine doctor, awaiting blood work, and have changed some routines.

  12. Thank you so much for sharing! It is a very scary place and feels so lonely. I’ve been there. There is no logical explanation and no reasoning to it. When depression hit me, things were actually going fine. There weren’t any big issues in life. By all accounts I should have been happy. But I wasn’t. That’s the thing with depression. It doesn’t make any sense.

    For me, I realize that I’m depressed when I’m coming out of depression. Or maybe the realization that I’m depressed helps me to come out of it. I don’t know. Maybe it’s both.

    The last time I was depressed, I made a point to write down all the things I was feeling. You know, those things that you know aren’t true but you keep hearing them. The depression conversations in your head:
    No one likes you.
    You can’t do anything right.
    You have no value.
    There is more to life, but you will never experience it.
    This is all there is for you.
    You will never be happy again.
    You are weak.
    Good, normal people don’t feel like this.

    I wrote all those down and emailed the list to my closest friend. I asked her to be aware of those things and if she heard me saying them to tell me that I was depressed. Just writing them down freed me up so much! Since then, I’ve felt the depression coming on now and again. But I recognize it for the lie that it is when it is starting! I’ve been able to so far tell myself that those are the lies of depression and have been able to keep myself from slipping back there. I’m not saying I’ll never go there again, but it sure does help to know what it looks like so that I can avoid it as much as possible.

    On the bright side, I have more compassion and a better understanding of those that are depressed. I know my depression was probably considered mild compared to many others, but I have an idea of how they are feeling and how completely illogical it is and how convincing it is and how totally helpless and silly and powerless you feel when it has you in its grasp.

    But the thing with depression is that it doesn’t have to last. It isn’t a life sentence. Recognizing it, admitting to others and looking it in the face is the start to breaking down the walls that are confining you. You will walk out again and enjoy the warm sun, the laughter of your children, and your laughter bubbling over right along with them. You’ll appreciate the little blessings in every day again.

    You have taken your first steps and you are on your way!

    1. Mad

      I feel the same ways as u right now. I’m not happy at all. I lost my direction. I hate my husband very much, i reli hate him until I wanted to divorce with him n don’t want to see his face again. Im suffering so much in my mental problem aafter I gave birth my 2 little girls 3 yrs ago. We married 13 yrs ago, after 10 yrs baby came. In my mind, I’m always thought that he was so in love with me n very supporting me n care me. After baby born till I realize he’s a selfish man I ever met. All the while why we were okay was becos I’m the one who tolerant him, gave so much of my love. Until today I’m just wake up, for him the most important things in his life, was his game life. He lives in his game world. …. I’m damn regret that I gave born my2 little girls. I felt so sorry to them bring them into this world. I even think that I shld just jump off in my apartment. I’m not a good mother nor a good wife. I know I’m having problem but I can’t talk to anyone. I’m a person who bring sunshine to them, I dont like to yell or scream, I keep all in my self. I don’t like to border people as they can’t help me n I dont want them to worry me. I know only myself can get it done by wake up n don’t depress again. But it’s hard n really hard. Sometimes it’s work but sometimes I’m just sink again. all I wan is a real man who reli love n care me but he is not the man I’m looking for. Sad right? After babies came, only realize this. I wan to be a good mother, for my babies future I will choose to keep this relationship even though I’m not love him anymore. What a sad life I chose. I think I’m reli stupid to screw my life with tis man. How can I escape this? Do I have a chance to get things right?

  13. Rita JH

    I realize this is your mom speaking. I believe you are having sad times, but look al ALL you have taken on for you and your family. And when you take on a challenge, you got all in. With that, not all will go as you hope. This is just a normal emotional response. You are overwhelmed.
    I believe you need to take back some Dayna time. That doesn’t mean blog time, schedule planning, teaching 24/7, and always being engaged.

    You need a break and so do the kids and Jason. You ARE a Success! You have achieved more than one person can do. Now it is time for a Spring Break. Spring is a time to Renew. The children won’t loose what has been taught, your blog won’t fall apart, but You will fall apart if you don’t take a break. Allow your entire family to take a break. Let the kids just plan, let Super B realize her world, and you and Jason need to go out and get away from it all. You are doing a wonderful, wife, mother, teacher and friend. But even our Lord tool a day off.

    I know I doing like Mom, but I am your Mom! And I love you!

  14. Thank you for sharing your story. I too have struggled since transitioning to being a stay at home and homeschooling mom 4 months ago. Last week, I met with a counselor for an introductory visit and have a follow up this week. I think this is going to help me immensely and am glad I seem to have found a good fit as that was an issue for me when I previously sought professional help. Will be following along and wishing you improved wellness!

  15. So beautifully written and honest. I applaud you for realizing that you are suffering from depression that it isn’t just a tough time. I too struggle with lots of these symptoms but I often feel like it is just that I have taken too much on, that the Winter has been too long and other stresses in my life. Thank you for sharing and for putting it out there to the world. You will help people with your candidness.

  16. Amanda

    As I sit here with tears streaming down my face, I thank you for sharing this & above all I thank God for placing it right in my face at the exact moment I needed to see it.

  17. Shannon

    I’ve suffered through PPD/OCD. Though I’m better now I can’t say that I’ll ever be 100% (what does that even mean anyway?). I sought therapy and was put on Zoloft. My son is now 3 and we have an 8 month old too. Therapy is the best medicine. It not only helps you through it, it gives you the ability to handle yourself better when another depression creeps up on you.

  18. Emma

    I could write on about how this blog made me feel and my own ups and downs, but thought I could just sum it up by saying thank you for writing this x

  19. Diana Dennen

    Reading this, it’s as if I could have wrote it myself right down to telling your husband you are getting out! I texted mine just last week and told him I was running away. I have two children and I run and in home childcare program. It’s the hardest thing I have ever done. Incredibly isolating. I was actually diagnosed with depression as a teenager. It runs in my family. For most of my young adult life I mainly delt with anxiety issues but lately the depression is taking over, even with medication and monthly counseling I am still struggling. It hits me when I least expect it and I never know how long it is going to last. It’s devastating to me to feel this way when I couldn’t be happier with my life, my children, and my husband. I am very blessed. I think one thing that is going to be key for me is when this Newengland weather finally gives us a break with some more sunshine and warmer temps. Fresh air and sun always helps. I look forward to following you with his challenge. It helps to know I am not alone.

    1. Thank you so much for your story and for following along. It means so much to me that you reached out! Know that you are not. alone

  20. Melody

    You could have pulled these same words from my mind. I look forward to your follow up on this.

  21. Sondra Renz

    Jan 21st 2013, my life forever changed for me. It was and will be a day I will never forget. Since that day I have fought with EVERYTHING you have posted above. Plus every demon in my head that tells me I’m not worth 2 cents. I too thought I could rise above it but I had to get help from my doctors. I also see a counselor that helps me to see that I’m worth something. Am I fixed? No. Am I getting there? Some days are better than others. But I look at my two young sons and know I was put on this earth for them. And I need to try and be the best mom I can be. I wish you all the luck. I found this post from Pinterest. I have a feeling I will be looking back soon…

    1. First) thank you for being so open and honest! Next, I want yoo to tell yourself that you are worth more than 2 Cents. In fact) you are worth So so much more! Lastly, I do hope you will follow along!

  22. Wendy

    This takes such courage not only to recognize but to put this out there! Thank you! I am goin thru something similar and I feel like I have roller coaster days. I am dealing with physical issues that have just gotten worse over the years that right now are affecting my ability as a mom. I know there is a turning point at the end of the tunnel. Find someone to talk to!

  23. Laura

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing. This is exactly where I’m at right now. I can’t even describe how true this rings and how deeply this is effecting me. Thank you for your bravery, and your example to be honest with yourself and your family. I stumbled across this post through my Facebook feed. Now i know and am ready to get help. Thank you.

    1. Your words mean So much to me! Thank you for your honesty ! I hope you can find Someone to talk with. you are always welcome to connect with me more!

  24. Hi Dayna, 🙂 I bookmarked this post so I would remember to come back to visit. I have thought about you a lot since this past week. I had a very hard year last year and got to a point that I was so overwhelmed with life and feeling like I was at the edge, barely hanging on. Through counseling and much answered prayer, I made it through a very hard year.

    As a mom/homeschool blogger, I know how hard you work to keep up your blog and homeschool and how much energy it can zap. I had to step away from blogging regularly during that time, but not too much, because it was also a source of joy and accountability that I needed. But, it was wonderful to step back and be refreshed, ready to come back this year.

    #1 thing I did was get more SLEEP! When I burn the midnight oil, night after night, I quickly become tired and irritable, have a harder time making decisions, et al. I burn out. And being burnt out feels like being depressed.

    #2 I got help where I could, so I wasn’t feeling so overwhelmed.

    #3, I quit sugar. It is amazing the power that sugar has on my mood! I’m super grumpy when I crash.

    #4 I make sure to take vitamin D daily (the sunshine vitamin), and Methyl B12 two weeks before my period. This helps stabilize my hormones (so does healthy fats like coconut oil). “Depression” for me, I discovered, is largely a hormonal imbalance. I took natural USP progesterone to balance my hormones for a year, and it is amazing how balanced I felt on it – I didn’t want to go off! It was a calming and peaceful feeling at a low dose. I am trying to balance right now with my diet, and it is working.

    #5 Fresh air and sunshine (still waiting for spring here in Wyoming!). Sunshine really elevated my mood. I need some of those special lights to use in the winter.

    So, all things to take care of yourself – , sleep, nutrition/health, balancing hormones, and light have played a key factor in my health and mental well being. ((((Hugs))))

    1. This is such amazing insight and I appreciate it. Thank you so much. I have made an appointment to see a natural doctor to get hormone levels and such checked. I have made some small changes to routine and I am talking more about it which helps a ton.

      Thank you so so much for your support! It means the world to me.

  25. Chris

    Dayna, you have a difficult situation, and it must be really hard because I’m sure by nature you are organized and like things in order and to control your environment, and like most moms, that’s reallly hard to get!! Plus having your oldest being so into everything and sensitive, and a BABY on top of that who is also into everything! And having to homeschool, so you can’t escape to a job and a break from it all.

    I have several children, all grown up now, and frankly, it’s hard to be a mom and always have to give of yourself. How well I remember the days!

    I’m wondering if my adult daughter is also depressed, and I’m considering sending her your blog entry. I don’t want her mad at me, she might feel upset if I suggest she is depressed, she does get upset easily with me, but I think she has a temperament similar to yours, and I think you two may be a bit more vulnerable to depression just because of your make-up.

    Life is tough. It was very very generous to share your problems and I want you to know I appreciate how honest you have been. I know your frankness will help other moms who will recognize themselves to a greater or lesser extent, because a lot of your issues come from having the role of Mom. Hang in there, eventually everyone grows up and you will have more freedom! It’s coming. Just keep that thought.

    I teach pre-preschool and I wanted you to know I’m going to go out and buy a gutter, cut it up and let my busy boys drop plastic eggs down them. I loved your idea, and am looking for other ideas, because I don’t think I do enough science with them. Please tell Legoman that his Mom’s trying out new ideas and then sharing them is going to make a lot of little boys across the country very happy, and we so appreciate that he has motivated his mom to dream up fun activities that we are all going to share in now!

    THANKS!

    1. What a wonderful and sweet comment. Thank you. I just wrote about 5 things I am doing every day to try to be happier and healthier. I think if your daughter is like me she might appreciated it. If you are concerned you should give her the article. Tell her she will find support here. If she is not down then there is no harm done.

      I know how hard it is between mom and daughters. I feel for you.

      As for the science. You rock! Seriously so awesome!

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  27. Ashlee

    Geeze, I needed this! I am depressed and have been for over a year. It’s rough to deal with alone, but everyone irritates the crap out of me so badly that I don’t want them involved. I feel trapped and would love a positive breakthrough. I would love for someone to understand and handle me the way I want to be handled. I came across this blog on Pinterest and will be following and visiting from now on. This fight for happiness has been the hardest thing I’ve ever dealt with & I’ve been to war twice. I will join you on this journey. I need it for myself and more importantly for my son, who deserves a mother in eater condition than I’m in right now. He just turned 1 on 3/28 and I already see how my actions affect him.

    1. LT

      Ashlee, I just wanted to say, I hope you are getting the treatment that you deserve. If I’m interpreting your comment correctly, as a veteran you are entitled to treatment, a benefit you EARNED. However, I’m a milspouse and I know how, umm… elusive proper treatment can be in the military system. I would highly encourage you to contact MilitaryOneSource, who can direct you to a therapist in your area, sometimes immediately, while you wait for the MTF or VA system to get to you.

      It sounds like you may have had perinatal and postpartum depression. I developed PPD about 3 months after my son was born and he was my reason for fighting, too. I would encourage you to check out http://www.postpartumprogress.com/ for encouragement and information. I hope you reach the happiness that you deserve!

  28. Amy

    I too struggle with depression. Before I married, after the birth of my first child, and then after my husband passed away unexpectedly while my twins were 4 months old. I take Zoloft, and it is really helps. I took it after the birth of my twins to prevent postpartum depression and then doubled the dosage after my husband passed. Now, I’m 2 years out, and am on a low dosage of Zoloft. I see a counselor and use essential oils. All of these are really helpful. I’m not crazy about taking medication, but I’m a mom. And when I don’t take it, I don’t feel like I’m the mom that I want to be. I plan to decrease this year, but until then, I do what I have to do. Blessings to you!

  29. Jenny

    I have been wondering myself if I might be depressed. We are going through a lot of loss right now, and I feel much of the same way. Glad to read that I’m not alone in this. Going to be working on a “plan” with hubby this weekend. I know for me that I am going to be putting a higher priority on getting enough sleep, and on time in the Word of God. Aside from that, I am not sure. I do not want to get on any kind of medicine for lots and lots of reasons, so I’m looking forward to being with you in this journey.

  30. LT

    It takes a lot of courage and bravery to put out such a personal story. Yours reminded me of just how hard those two years of my life were and how far I’ve come, even on bad days. Thank you.

    If you haven’t encountered it already, may I recommend the site http://postpartumprogress.org/ and its sister site, http://www.postpartumprogress.com/ ? These two sites are full of encouraging stories, evidence based treatment options, help finding a therapist, information about new research, and, most of all, understanding support for people experiencing mood disorders, including depression. Their focus is on parents (especially moms) who have postpartum mood disorders, which you may be experiencing if you started having problems before your new baby was one year old.

    Thank you again for sharing your story. The more stories like this that are published, the more other moms will realize they’re not alone, help is available, and getting better is possible.

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  32. Casey

    Thank you so much for sharing this. I don’t think any words can express how grateful I am. I needed this.

    1. Lemon Lime Adventures

      I am so happy to hear it was helpful and I am sending hugs!

  33. The courage it must have taken for you to share such a personal issue! I think from reading the other comments you can tell that you are not alone, and that so many other people are going through it! I have often wondered very recently if the funk I have been in is more than a funk. I haven’t decided yet, mostly I am able to pull myself out. If I may make a suggestion or two, seeking medical help and physical activity are two good places to start. I know I know. How on earth can you make / get more time for physical fitness….and here is my most serious recommendation – take up boxing. Hang a heavy bag somewhere in your home. I would love to talk more with you about this. Depression is one of those things that is non transferable. But it is treatable. Eve

  34. Kristin

    Thank you, thank you, thank you! I have been struggling with exactly the same things since I had my 3rd baby 18 months ago but have not been able to identify, nor was I ready to realize I need help, I am depressed………tears of relief streaming down my checks. I will take the plunge and ask for the help I now know I do need. Hugs to you, keep posting your journey please. Hugs and love to you!!

    1. Lemon Lime Adventures

      I am so happy that by telling my story, I was able to provide comfort to you. It is so lonely not knowing where that feeling is coming from and I can relate. Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you need anything!

  35. sarah oconnell

    Please please please go to this website and watch the videos! http://www.3pgc.org/ Start with the Syd Banks ones. Explore the understanding shared on the site. It can change your life, it can help you understand and end your suffering. I am sending you well wishes and warm thoughts. They are wonderful to watch at night after all the kids are in bed or when you cant sleep or when you are down or anxious.

  36. Prudence

    I’m a mother of four and so identify with your story. I thought I was depressed also; however a friend of mine suggested I have my thyroid levels checked bc an out of order thyroid can have the same symptoms as depression. They were right! I feel so much better and happier.

    1. Lemon Lime Adventures

      Yes!!! Thyroid is such a common culprit! I completely agree how important it is to get that checked out!

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  39. April Eldridge

    I know this blog post is a bit old, but I found it today on the Happy Hooligans Facebook page. It is definitely something I needed right in this moment. I was diagnosed as bipolar back in 2000. For the better part of 10 years I was on an even keel thanks to medication. After a traumatic birth experience with my first son, I fell way down the rabbit hole for way over a year before I realized what had happened and sought help through therapy and additional medication. Now here I am 4 weeks removed from the birth of my second son and starting to feel the same way. I have just been attributing my irritability and overwhelmed feelings to being sleep deprived. I can honestly say that I have never connected my frustration and irritability to my depression/bipolar issues. Even with as well as I have educated myself on depression, anxiety, bipolar and the like, the frustration and irritability thing has never clicked like it did after reading your post. I told myself that I would not let myself get lost in post-partum like I did before. Sitting here and admitting that it is starting again has me feeling completely defeated.

  40. Jen

    Hi there reading all of these stories makes me realize I’m not alone! Wow! I too want to start the no yelling challenge! I also have been writing down my accomplishments on those days I feel like I haven’t done anything or enough of anything. Although I know my job is extremely important it is hard not to lose your identity in being a stay at home mom. After reading about others and their stresses in life I thought I’d share this. I have learned through counseling that your body responds equally to “good stress” and “bad stress”. Your brain and body don’t understand the difference between a wedding and a funeral. Or having to move because you found your dream home or because you’ve been evicted. Stress is stress no matter how pretty or ugly. Allow yourself to take a break even from good stress.

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  42. Unfortunately it is a battle many of us will encounter during our lives. When we battle with this monster hopefully it will only be once but, sadly for many it will be a reoccurring storm we must endure.
    I have struggled for years and years with the constant agony of having to just simply ‘put up with myself’. Two years before my daughter arrived I succumbed to my depressing thoughts and am quiet lucky to still be here today. I thought considering how heavy the impact of that incident, the repercussions and the influence it had on myself as a person, I wouldn’t end up there again. Then the happiest day of my life, my daughter arrived and I was so certain that storm would never reappear. I finally graduated university last month, my daughter is well and developing so beautifully, I love her dearly. I can not explain it, I am so low and lost; for months now, to the point I can’t stand my own reflection. Reading your words touched me deeply as it put my feelings and waves of emotions into some form of concrete material that is real rather than a battle in my mind.
    Please anyone who is depressed remember the sun will reappear after the storm…. it will not last forever, it may reoccur but think of your little ones.
    Jennifer wrote in March 2014 that it helped her to write her thoughts down, it really is an excellent coping strategy.
    Another wonderful coping strategy which helps bring you to the present moment is to stop, look around and identify 5 items you can see and describe them in detail, then 5 things you can hear, 5 things you can smell, 5 things you can taste and 5 things you can feel. This activity helps redirect your focus to what is going on around you as sometimes you can run with your thoughts and you become stressed and lost.
    So many people battle depression alone and I am one of those people; I won’t let anyone in. The major cause of people losing the fight with depression is when the depression out ways their coping abilities. If you do struggle, please share the battle with a friend, someone you can rely on to help you through the woods and back to the path you belong. Support from friends and/or family will be such a guiding light in the dark, don’t under estimate its worth.
    Thank you again for sharing and you will be ok and come through more self aware and stronger.

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