As many of my regular readers know, I am part of a Monthly Goals series with some other fabulous bloggers. Each month we post our goals for the next month. This series has not been as easy as I had hoped. Each month we expose ourselves, what we have accomplished, what we didn’t and how we are going to adjust for the next month. Being part of a group helps keep each of us accountable and reduces the fear of failure some.
I am going to be very honest here. I am not going to sugar coat things. You see, every time I have to write these post I get a little sick to my stomach. I start to make excuses why I can’t get to the writing portion of the post. I procrastinate and I avoid looking at my goals from the month before. In January, I had the same problem. I was scared to write the post and tell you that I had not DONE everything on MY LIST.
Each month, as I prepare for the posts, I ask my readers on my Facebook Page about their goals. Are they a goal setter? If so, how do they set them? If not, what keeps them from making them? Each month, I get an overwhelming response from people saying that they would never set goals. They admit that they do not do well with failure, and therefore stay away from goals.
It made me wonder…
Does not achieving my goals mean I am a “Failure”?
You see, the reason I avoid these posts is because I can visualize my goals in my head. I know I have not completed everything on my list. I am suddenly overcome with a fear of failure.
How many things can I check off?
What did I do?
What did I even get accomplished?
How do we gauge Success or Failure?
Looking at my goals from February, I am overcome with a sense of failure. I mean, look at all those X’s. In January, I wrote about how to achieve your goals by setting SMART goals. You can see why I feel like a hypocrite writing to you each month, unable to accomplish my goals each month.
Then, I shift my eyes a tad to the right, a tad to the left and I start to notice that some things did get accomplished. Some thing were done. I start to change the way I view my “failures” and begin to see “success”. Honestly, it probably is just because I need to pick myself up. It is probably because I want to feel successful. Whatever the reason… I think its an important step in setting goals and overcoming the fear of failure.
I’ve started to change the way I gauge success and failure. It isn’t black and white. It isn’t cut and dry. To me, its a mindset.
If Goals Aren’t About Success/Failure, What Are They About?
To me, it is becoming more and more clear why I am drawn to goals. I am starting to realize that goals are a starting point for me. They are actually small in the grand scheme of things. However, they are what give me direction in my family, my relationships with others and my professional life.
Although, I hate to see all of the little X’s each month and I am embarrassed to report that I didn’t DO all the things I said I was going to DO… I see growth. Setting goals gives me a purpose. It allows me to open up to others, find support and push my self to try to achieve things I am fearful of trying on my own.
So even though I might not be successful, I will continue to set goals. I will continue to report back each month and let you know how they are going.
Setting Goals With Failure As an Option
I present to you my goals for March. They are not much different than February. For a couple of the goals, I have made them more specific, in hopes that they will be more attainable. I have changed and tweaked a few in hopes to be better this month. The truth is, I have no clue what March will bring. I don’t know if I will be able to accomplish these things, but I am going to attempt them and attempt to overcome my fear of “failure”.
My hope is that you will leave comments, ideas, and share your goals as well. Every month I will be post at the end of the month, along with my co-host. Visit their pages, read their goals, and tell us yours.
Together we can achieve what we desire!
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* Image Credit (edited): by Victor1558 on Flickr