As a parent of a child with SPD, I can tell you I have heard my fair share of interesting things from strangers and people I just meet. Even well-intended and caring family members have sent their glares and their thoughts my way over the last few years. One thing has been clear over the years, however… most people genuinely don’t know what to say, how to react or how to help when they see me struggling with my child with sensory processing disorder. The thing is, if I was in their shoes, I am not sure I would know what to say or do either. I might be completely lost. That’s why I have joined thousands of other parents to share what we secretly wish our friends knew about SPD.
We want to start by saying, Thank You!
Thank you for taking the time to read this. This means that you are one of two people… a parent of a child with SPD or you love someone with a child with SPD… Either way, you care. You want to know what you can do for your friend, your daughter, your sister, or your neighbor. You want to feel like you know what they know. You want to help, but you just don’t know how. We get it. We’ve been there.
40 Things Parents Secretly With Their Friends Knew About SPD
Sensory is not just for babies.
She doesn’t JUST have lots of energy!
It’s not just “normal kid stuff”
My child processes the world differently.
I am not an indulgent parent.
Routines are important all the time and should matter.
A meltdown is not a tantrum.
You can’t discipline this out of a kid.
What works this year won’t necessarily work next year,
or next week, or even tomorrow.
There is a cumulative effect and it wears a parent/marriage/family down.
We are not making this up.
Parents get drained fast.
Each day is different.
Things change fast.
He is really smart.
Some days are great and some days are harder.
We love him no matter what.
My child is NOT just naughty!!!
There are things he needs before he can function properly.
He is super sensitive and majorly in tune to underlying emotions.
If he’s “ignoring” you, it’s probably because her has either shut down or his brain is going 10 times faster about every detail he’s looking at in that moment.
Taking away a physical object that helps to soothe/calm is not a proper form of punishment.
It is very much a trial and error process.
Even when we find things that work, they are not 100% all the time.
There is not a one size fits all kind of treatment.
My children should be treated equally, even if it’s easier to manage the one without SPD.
You don’t cure SPD.
As they grow, their sensory needs change.
No, she won’t grow out of it.
Yes, she will learn to regulate it.
Kids need their sensory time.
We can’t always predict what causes him anxiety.
Just because you can’t identify triggers in the environment and warning signs in his behavior, it doesn’t mean that they aren’t there or that I can’t see them.
Accommodations are not special treatment, they are a necessity that allow him to navigate the world on an equal footing.
Please don’t think I’m being rude when I stop a conversation with you in order to apply behavior strategies with my son.
Your support is important to our family. If you can’t help me with this specific child, perhaps you could lend help with things around the house or other children to allow me more 1:1 time to focus on my child that needs me.
All children want to do well, all children want to be accepted, loved, and included.
Don’t give up on mine.
Every parent who’s child struggles with SPD
Print this Free Printable Version Of “What Parents Wish Their Friends Knew”
This post comes with a free printable to share with friends or to hang on your fridge as a good reminder of what we go through every single day.
I have made a simple printable for you that has the entire letter in a simple and easy to display format. Place it on the fridge, in a frame or even hand it to your best friend the next time they ask for a play date. Don’t get caught struggling to find the words to describe your child.
This printable simplifies it!
Here is a sneak preview…
Download Your Free Printable
- Download the checklist. You’ll get the printable, plus join my weekly newsletter! Click Here to Download and Subscribe
- Print. Any paper will do the trick, but card stock would be ideal.
- Place it on your refrigerator.
More Adventures In Sensory Processing
2 thoughts on “40 Things Parents Secretly Wish Friends Knew About SPD”
This list is great. ” you cannot discipline this out of him” is something I’m realizing just recently with my 3 year old son. Speech therapist suggested timeouts to stop some behaviors but it really doesn’t work. I’m always trying new things to help with his need to touch every child he comes jn contact with including baby sister.
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